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CHEMistry 142

There was a culture shock

                  These honors reflections are supposed to highlight certain classes that play a key role in your college experience. Naturally, I am going to pick the class that I not only received the worst grade, but also with which I had the most difficulty coping. Chemistry 142. I shudder every time I hear it.
                  Before I reveal the bigger man attitude and go on about how it has changed me for the better, let me complain. The professor was not inspiring and from what I have heard from others, this was not a misinterpretation. I got an A in AP chem, I got the chemistry award from my high school, but that doesn’t mean anything.  It still kicked my butt. Going from a chem class of 9 to a class of over 500, there was a culture shock. Chem was late in the day, during pickup soccer, and not required: a deadly recipe. All in a few less words, I wasn’t prepared for university level chemistry.
                  I have always really liked school so it doesn’t take legions of effort to stay focused, but I found after Chem 142 the connection didn’t exist. I don’t know if it was the subject, the professor, or the atmosphere. It hasn’t been since middle school that I have been unable to cultivate enough interest to do well in a course.
                  The first step to change is to be conscious of the difficulties. I am now aware that if I am not naturally engrossed by the subject that it is my responsibility to work harder than I normally would have to. With my new found consciousness I approached CHEM 152 differently. I attended each lecture and studied more for the exams. The class felt better and I feel that I learned more. Unfortunately my GPA only increased by 0.1. Chemistry appeared to be a class that would remain on my shoulders for quite some time.
                  I withdrew from the course series afraid that if I continued taking chemistry classes then they would haunt me forever. I wanted to get my head around it. By the end of my freshmen year I got 4.0’s in all of my classes except for one 3.9 and the 2.7 and 2.8 from chemistry. It was obvious to me that chemistry was more of a mental barrier than an intelligence or capability barrier.
                  I am not one to base my education of my grades. I obviously care and strive to be the best on paper and in learning, but I think it’s more important to experience the material rather than get one grade to show you’ve mastered it. But in this case, the grades are a perfect reflection of how I was feeling and experiencing the material.
                  We will see how I do when I rejoin my enemy, chemistry in the future. I am switching course series. It’s hard to not see this series switch as a sign of defeat, but I don’t look at it as a defeat. I learned one way I can’t learn chemistry so I’m going to try another way.
                 See. There you go. This paper was a progression of how I was at first victimized by a daunting course, but then I turned it around and found the good. Check! 

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